All right moms. Let’s get really honest. You know it’s true, but we don’t like to admit it. But sometimes you just have a bad day. This usually happens because as a momtrepreneur you feel like you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Like Atlas, everything depends on you.
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Then it happens, something slips through your fingers or gets overlooked in the day-to-day melee, and you make a mistake. Or in all the beautiful chaos of what you do, a few things slide past you. And then the spiral begins, and the questions flow…Can I do this? Am I really capable of keeping all these balls in the air? The self-doubt creeps in, and we start to feel like we are failing at everything. The tears may event start to flow at this point, but can we give ourselves permission to have a bad day?
A Bad Day can come from so Many Places
It can creep up on like a stealthy ninja or drop on you like a ton of bricks. Some days the puke is flying and you are being pressured by a client. I am writing this post still recovering from a bad day(s). So you know this is smack in the middle, raw honesty (but I do write a few months out, so nothing will give away the cause of my bad day) of a bad day. So what do you do when really big feelings threaten to overwhelm you?
You are Super-Mom
Yes, you are super-mom, and I even made a t-shirt saying that. It is easy to feel like everything depends on you. If we make one mistake then all the dominoes start to fall. Can we as fellow momtrepreneurs remind each other of a few things
1. Nobody is perfect…everyone makes mistakes
2. You, mom, are doing a lot. Give yourself the grace to have a bad day.
3. You are amazing, no one else can do what you and only you are uniquely qualified to do—love and raise your kids.
What Not to do When You Have a Bad Day
Yes, we are giving each other grace to have a bad day. But in the midst of the inner turmoil and outer pressures, there are a few things that you don’t want to do.
1. Don’t bring your kids into your feelings.
If your kids aren’t the cause of your day (sometimes they are) or even if they are, don’t take it out on them. Sometimes proximity makes it easy for them feel the brunt of your day. Try not to do that.
2. But if you do. Apologize and move on.
3. Keep things in perspective.
Don’t let the circumstance of your bad day dictate your life. I am still working on this. This is one of those exercises of writing it down, so it can be thought through critically. It is easy to drown in the feelings that come from a bad day, but don’t do it. There are very few circumstances that demand your life to be consumed by them. Keep things in perspective.
4. You can’t control what other people think.
But you also don’t know what other people are thinking either. So don’t build up something that doesn’t exist. You know what they say, people aren’t thinking about you as much as you think they are.
What to do When You Have a Bad Day
Now that you’ve accepted the fact that bad days happen (or remember the bumper sticker from Forrest Gump?). How do you handle it? What should you do?
1. Go for a walk
Walking helps to release the stress hormone cortisol and will help you feel calmer and in more control. Walking also increases your ability to problem solve. When you are having a bad day this is an added bonus. Sometimes you just need a clear head to assess the issue rationally. So lace up your sneakers go outside or hop on the treadmill.
2. Take a bath
This is by far my favorite one. There is something about relaxing in hot water, reading your favorite book, or watching your favorite show on your Kindle or iPad. It can distract your mind and help you gain a different perspective of your circumstance. Add some salt and your favorite relaxing essential oil (mine is Valor from Young Living). If you are interested in the oils mentioned, you can sign-up with Young Living to get your starter kit.
3. Sit in your room for 15 minutes and do nothing
Let your mind and your body be at rest. Don’t think about what is going on, just let your mind relax. This will also help gain more perspective.
4. Essential oils to relax
Sometimes you just need a little extra help to relax. You can read more on Essential Oils for Anxiety: My Personal Experience. Here is one of my favorite essential oil recipes to relax:
Mommy Moment Blend
In a roller bottle add the following:
- 25 drops of Lavender
- 15 drops of Valor
- 10 drops of Vetiver
- 10 drops of Grapefruit or Orange
- 5 drops of Release (if you don’t have this on hand, you can leave it out)
- 5 drops of Cedarwood
- Fill with carrier oil
I am also a fan of peace and calming, stress away, and valor. If you are interested in the oils mentioned here, you can sign-up with Young Living to get your starter kit. Or drop me a note if you have questions.
5. Find a voice that is louder than the one inside your head
Yes, sometimes the loud voice that is encouraging you in your bad day is just not helpful. Find someone who can lend some perspective to how you are feeling. Someone you trust and listen to what they have to say.
6. It is ok to cry
Crying is a helpful emotion and offers physical benefits. Now, if you are crying all the time there may be something more going on. It is always good to seek a professional opinion. Crying detoxifies your body, improves your mood, dulls pain, and helps restore emotional balance, among others. So if you feel like a volcano ready to explode do steps 2 or 3 and cry it out. You will probably feel better once it is out than you do holding it in. Find out more on the benefits of crying.
Conclusion
Mom you are amazing! Don’t let a bad day derail you or cause you to say or do something that you will regret later (you know, like eat the whole pint of ice cream in one sitting). You know this, you are an amazing super-mom. But every so often we just need to remind ourselves of this.
Tell us your best tips to handle a bad day or just to take a few minutes to relax.
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