We’ve been sold a lie. If you are following your dream, then all will be right with your life.
That is a lot of pressure to place on a tiny idea. Following your dream or passion comes with the promise that you will love what you do. But what if your passion doesn’t pay the bills?
What happens when you follow your dream, but it doesn’t deliver on the promise?
The Hope of Following Your Dream
It seems like everywhere we turn we hear, “Just follow your dream.” This is the answer to every problem, missed opportunity, or heartbreak. It is the magic pill that will make everything better.
Our entire society put a lot of expectation and hope into this tiny word…dreams. Really, we put a lot of pressure on these 5 joined letters. Who knew that these simple letters could make or break the rest of your life…not really, but that is the weight it is given.
If we just make enough money, find the perfect job, or have so many followers. Then you will have achieved your dreams and followed your passion.
Doing this will unlock the secret to a happy and fulfilled life. Right?
The Expectation of Following Your Dream
I was recently listening to an audio book. One chapter talked about following your dream. Or do what makes your heart sing. I always cringe when I hear this advice because it is a lie. There I said it.
I know this will not be the most popular thing to say. But I am tired of trying to fit into someone else’s expectation of how to work and school. If we need to measure everything by what we are passionate about, then it is going to be a constantly moving target.
We’ve all heard, “Just do what you love, and you will never work a day in your life.” This sounds nice, but it is just not true. Work is part of our lives. It is ok to be satisfied with your job and not passionate about it.
In 2023, about 65% of people are satisfied with their jobs and 20% are passionate. I read statistics like this, and it gives me hope.
The loudest voices we hear are the ones shouting that you need to be passionate about what we do. So we assume we are the only ones who aren’t burning with a deep sense of passion.
Clearly, the vast majority of people aren’t passionate about their jobs. They just aren’t screaming it from the TedTalk stage. Let’s be honest, passion sells and job satisfaction doesn’t.
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The Problem with Following Your Dream
Let’s talk about why you shouldn’t base your entire life on following your dream. Go on a journey with me. We are hoping through a time portal to 1st grade. Remember that paragraph you wrote? It started with when I grow up I want to be…What did you write?
Now fast forward to 8th grade. You still have the same essay, but it is a little more serious now. Let’s move to 11th grade, when you need to pick a major or something you will do after high school.
Are you doing any of these things that you dreamed of now? I am guessing that you aren’t. If you are great. Did these dreams meet your expectation?
The problem with following your dream or passion is
1. Passion changes
You don’t know what you don’t know. Usually a dream or passion starts with an idea that sounds good. But life changes. As you change so do your dreams. They don’t stay the 1st grade version of themselves.
2. Dreams need to be informed
Most of our dreams or passion are totally uninformed. This is probably the biggest problem. We have an idea; it sounds good, but we have no idea of what it actually requires. Then when you start down the path of following your dream, you realize you hate it.
3. We limit our lives
That can’t be true. Right? Dreams are supposed to expand our horizons, not limit our lives. Again, you don’t know what you don’t know. Dreams are only as big as your imagination. And your imagination is more limited than you realize.
We limit dreams to only what we know in the moment.
The Alternative to Following Your Dreams—Living Your Best Unimagined Life
“I want to be a lawyer,” my self-assured 14-year-old self, responded to my uncle’s question. I was 14, we gathered around the Thanksgiving table. “And these are the schools I want to go to.” I name the direct rival to his alma mater, which of course sparked a family rivalry (all good natured). He then summoned his powers of persuasion and tried to talk me into considering his school.
At the very wise age of 14, I had it all figured out. I knew what I wanted to do. I had the road map to following my dreams, and I wouldn’t be persuaded otherwise.
In my vast world experience, I knew what I was going to do. This is how we are supposed to chase our dreams: pick a school, pick a career, and live happily ever after. Right?
What if what we decided to do when we were 14 wasn’t actually what we wanted to do?
Here’s what happened next. We moved. No, it was not a simple move down the street. That would be easy. We packed up everything and moved to Alaska. Like they say, “It is not the end of the world, but you can sure see it from here.”
If my life were a shoebox, then it was just dumped upside down. All of my well-thought and organized plans were scattered.
The conclusion, I’m not a lawyer. You already knew that part. I didn’t attend those schools I mentioned. And I have no regrets. I don’t pine for a job that I thought I wanted at 14.
I am living the best unimagined life that I could never think up. My 14-year-old self could’ve never imagined or even thought out the life I am living now.
Let’s not limit our lives to only what our imaginations can come up with. There is so much more than we can think or imagine. You don’t have to fit into someone else’s idea of how you work and school. Or even your own idea of how you should do this.
Conclusion: Following Your Dreams
Mom, take the pressure off yourself. You don’t have to fit into someone else’s idea of how to work, school, or what your dreams should be. Live your best unimagined life exactly where you are.
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