This is going to be one of those posts that breaks with popular wisdom and what you’ve always heard about chasing your dreams. The blog explores outside of the box, so we need to do this every once in a while. This is part 1 in a two part series exploring what it means to be chasing your dreams.
I read a lot and I read a wide variety of subjects. The accepted idea of chasing your dreams always irks me. I am irked because it isn’t always fully honest and leaves you with the idea that if we aren’t following a prescribed formula then you are doing something wrong. This is going to challenge the idea then in part 2 we are going to work on changing what it means.
An Extremely Popular Topic
The idea that you should be chasing your dreams is an extremely popular topic. Think about it. I am sure you hear it everywhere. Follow your passion. Make sure you are chasing your dreams. Only you can control your destiny. Or always do what you love. These are usually the main points in motivational speeches and books. You’ve probably been inspired by books and quotes, but the reality is there isn’t a whole lot of substance to these statements after the warm fuzzies have worn off. So is this good advice?
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Chasing Your Dreams—What does it Actually Mean?
If we are going to explore this topic together then we need to make sure we are using the same dictionary. Before we dive in, let’s define what it means to be chasing your dreams or following your passion.
Popular wisdom says that your dream is something big that you want to achieve. It is always a career goal and if you finally obtain it you will be happy and fulfilled. It is something that once accomplished, you will get a bigger house, better car, and a fuller closet. And, if you are doing this properly, you will have an intense emotional high about all aspects of what you do.
I am not saying this definition is correct or good. I am just saying this is how chasing your dreams is usually presented. And these characteristics get your dream on the approved list—not all dreams meet with approval.
The Need of Chasing Your Dreams
There are a few reasons why the idea of chasing your dreams is so appealing, and why you are so inspired after hearing that you should chase them.
1. Excitement
You want to do something that gets you excited. You will spend most of your life working, so it is completely reasonable to want to do something that makes you excited and fuels you.
2. Inspired
If you think about it, we all have a need to want to do something that is bigger than ourselves. To be a part of something that inspires and that we get inspired about. You want to have a sense of fulfillment, enjoyment, and satisfaction. You want to feel like you’ve changed the world, or at least contributed to making it better.
3. Known
There is a desire to be known. The idea persists that we need to be extraordinary, great, memorable, someone that people are in awe of. And we will get this if we are chasing our dreams. At least that is what all the gurus who are known tell us when they instruct us that we need to be chasing our dreams.
The Problem of Chasing Your Dreams by this Standard
It is easy to chase your dreams when you don’t have responsibilities, resources are available to you, and you don’t have any commitments. But if you are reading this, I am assuming that this is not where you are at. You are a busy mom, with responsibilities and limited resources. Life is full of constraints and very, very few people find themselves with the resources or unfettered freedom to pursue their dreams.
Another problem with this conventional wisdom is it usually stays in the realm of warm fuzzies. It is quantified by emotions and these emotions will dissipate. It is impossible to maintain the initial emotional high of the pursuit.
The Toll of Chasing Your Dreams
This wisdom never takes into account the toll on your relationships. There will always be a cost to chasing your dreams, whether it is family or friendships. For example, if your dream is to be a millionaire and you have 6 kids. What will it cost you in your relationships and will it actually be worth it?
I’ve always wanted to finish college and get my degree. This is a dream that I’ve pursued off and on throughout the years. Then it came time to actually jump in with both feet. I started applying to different colleges, and I was accepted. But looking at the class requirement list and the cost (we weren’t going to go into debt for it), I had to truly consider if the time and money that it would take away from my family was worth it. And I decided that it wasn’t. It was not an easy decision to make, but looking back on it, I am so glad I made it.
What are your thoughts on the conventional wisdom of chasing your dreams? Do you think there is room to broaden these narrow definitions? Check out Part 2, as we discuss changing what it means to be chasing your dreams.
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